Rose Coloured Glasses
Photo Credit: Hannah Busing
“If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging symbol. If I had the gift of prophecy, and I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it, but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.” ~ Corinthians
I can only speak one language. I am oblivious to God’s secret plans. I haven’t sacrificed enough to even consider boasting about it. But I have loved others fiercely and completely. Mom says I was born with a propensity to love, and while I agree, I know that if I’d been born into a different family where I wasn’t loved, I wouldn’t be who I am today.
I believe love is the most powerful thing there is. When we perceive the world from the perspective of love, it transforms reality. People often ask, “Are you a glass half empty or a glass half full kind of person?” My answer is, “My glass is overflowing.” Mom used to tell people that I saw the world through rose-coloured glasses, so I guess that’s part of the process—to see others through the eyes of love.
Often in life, the reason someone behaves the way they do isn’t what we think. When we look past their behaviours and listen to their stories, instead of adding to their burden, we can lift them up. When we choose to give people the benefit of the doubt instead of criticizing them, we have an opportunity to transform their lives. Love changes us and is the seed of miracles.
It’s easy to make judgments about other people from a shallow perspective, based on what’s on the surface. I used to assume people who were overweight were lacking in willpower and simply ate too much. But I’ve learned that most addictions, whether they are to food, cigarettes, alcohol, or drugs, are caused by painful experiences; by not receiving love. Sometimes trauma is at the root of it. The behaviour is actually a way of coping, of finding comfort, not a character flaw.
One of my biggest eye-openers was when I taught at William Taylor Junior High in Calgary. It was a special needs school for youth diagnosed with emotional and behavioural disorders. At first, I saw their disruptive behaviours with a critical eye. I found their coarse language and posturing off-putting. But once I got to know them and their families, it was clear they were suffering. They needed to be loved, not punished.
When I taught in that setting, I had to pump up the rose tint in my glasses to full-on red. I had to adjust my perspective, knowing the students in my class didn’t come from the kind of loving home I did, with the resources I had. I’d never walked in their shoes. They suffered so many disadvantages piled on top of one another: grief, loss, poverty, addiction, mental illness, learning disabilities, abuse, neglect, attachment disorders—you name it.
One of my most heart-wrenching stories was one that nearly cost me my life. A student in my class tried to kill me by putting ketamine in my coffee. I thought it was just a headache or a low blood sugar, but when I checked I was in range. On my way to the principal’s office in search of Tylenol, my vision blurred. It was like seeing through broken glass. I went unconscious, and when I woke up hours later, I was in the emergency department at Foothills hospital.
My first reaction was feeling hurt and angry. I wanted justice. But I didn’t have evidence except the testimony of another student, and the police said with his history of lying, it would never stand up in court. In an attempt to try and understand why this boy hated me so much, I did some investigating. I found out he grew up in a single-parent household, his father was in jail for murder, and his mother was a crack addict and a sex trade worker who often brought men home.
This boy had his birthday forgotten more times than it had been remembered. I’d written his birthday down incorrectly in my planner and missed it. I made a point of celebrating each student’s birthday with a party, a cake, a gift, and a card that told them why they were special. He didn’t know it was a mistake. It was proof to him that he wasn’t worthy of love. His violent act towards me wasn’t personal, it came from trauma-created attachment disorder.
All my anger dissolved in a puddle of tears. Instead of seeking justice or blaming him, I felt compassion and deep empathy. I learned a lot from that experience. I still misplace my rose-coloured glasses sometimes, but when I do, I usually find them quickly. I try my best not to assume anything about anyone or take it personally when people behave badly. When I feel a criticism forming in my mind, I erase and replace it with love.
Since moving back to Canada, I’ve been following Wab Kinew, the Premier of Manitoba. When I listen to him speak, I hear a man who is authentic, kind, and loving. A leader who is committed to every person he serves. He doesn’t make promises he cannot keep. He doesn’t use divisions to gain popularity. He works tirelessly to improve the quality of life of every citizen of our province through reforms in healthcare, education, and the economy.
One of Kinew’s campaign promises that contributed to him winning the election was his commitment to the conversation about reconciliation and healing. He said, “In this province, when somebody goes missing, we go looking. And that applies to everybody, including indigenous women. Watch this YouTube clip to learn more.
This week, I listened to Wab Kinew’s Song to the Family of Ashlee Shingoose, an inspirational testament to leadership informed by a loving heart. It gave me goosebumps, shivers, and tears. It renewed my hope for a future where all people see one another through the eyes of love, with rose-coloured glasses. We all want to be loved, and the way to receive love is to give it.
COMING UP…
Books & Projects:
· All four of my books are available online at Amazon, Chapters-Indigo, and Barnes & Noble. You can also find them at select Chapters-Indigo and El Hombre de la Mancha bookstores.
· I am pursuing representation from a traditional publisher for my fifth literary fiction, a psychological drama that explores the complexities of mental illness and trauma. Stay in touch by signing up for my blog or following me on social media to find out when it will be published.
Reviews & Interviews:
· You can read, listen, or watch a large selection of reviews and interviews on my website.
Events:
· There are no events currently scheduled in my calendar.
YouTube Channel:
· Watch The Rogue Scorpion trailer.
· Watch The Holding trailer.
· Watch The Healing trailer.