Sandpaper Stories
Photo Credit: Win Naming
“Life’s challenges are the sandpaper that smooths out our rough edges, to reveal the masterpiece God created us to become.” ~ Lynda Faye Schmidt, The Healing
During the last several months, a difficult season in my life has had one health challenge after another scouring at my rough edges. I’ve needed to slow down, pray, and meditate, and in that process, I’ve been thinking about how adversity can be transformed into resilience. I knew it would be the subject of today’s musings, but I didn’t know how until I met up with a friend for coffee and conversation on Wednesday.
Our discussion opened with an update from me on my most current and pressing health concern. I was a little surprised by how open and vulnerable I was with this tender new relationship, but I felt safe and supported and so I filled her in on all the details. What struck me later on the walk home, was how at peace I felt with my situation. I’m certain that a younger version of me would be spinning, dramatic emotions flying in every direction. And I wondered, what has changed?
I found the answer to my question when I looked to my pillars of resilience, love, and faith. One of my greatest blessings in life was being born into a family that loved me. I was supported by both my parents and had a close relationship with my brother. I was raised as a Christian in the United Church and had a foundation to build upon, but it took a great deal of exploration and detours before I uncovered a deep and unconditional faith. I believe it is the strength of my faith that has made the difference in being able to stay in peace during sandpaper challenges.
One of many faith transformations was gifted to me through the teachings of Eckhart Tolle. The New Earth in particular had spiritual concepts I’d struggled with my entire life shifting from knowledge to an awareness that I felt in my heart. What Eckhart might term an awakening. I’ve lost my way many times since the first seed of enlightenment was planted, but I found my way back. Often, but not always, it was through adversity.
Today I’m sharing three sandpaper stories from my life that stand out for me as beautiful testaments of what I’m trying to convey. The first was in 2017 when I faced one of the most difficult challenges of my life. A devastating disclosure came to light from my past that had been hidden in the shadows. But even as I felt the pain of my heart being torn into pieces, a strength rose up inside me that was greater than my own.
I’m still in awe of how I was able to respond with calm resolution. I showed up for the people in my life who were impacted by the disclosure. It was as though angels guided every step of my journey, from finding flights to Canada from Saudi Arabia to booking accommodation for one month on Faith Street. It was the perfect name for the space that became our refuge, where we gathered to cry and yell and try and make sense of things that can never be made sense of.
The second sandpaper story is one many of my readers are familiar with; the circumstances that led to Mister and I giving up our dream home in Panama to move to Winnipeg, Canada. He was facing the greatest health challenge of his life, battling ulcerative colitis that was nonresponsive to steroid treatment or stem cell therapy. He’d had dramatic weight loss and many of his bloodwork numbers were out of range.
On Thursday, November 16, 2023, we were languishing about, lying in bed feeling despondent, not knowing what to do, when we turned to face one another, and in a flash of twin knowing, declared simultaneously and with absolute conviction, “we have to move to Canada, now.” With angel wings to guide us, we sat down at the dining room table, laptops open, and with calm deliberation, we made it happen. We felt the shift. We were acting in faith.
We packed up what belongings we could fit into eight pieces of luggage, booked our flights, and made arrangements with a friend to drive us to Panama City through obstacles of political protests and road closures. Mister endured a grueling, sixteen-hour travel day in his weakened condition. At Canada Customs, we declared ourselves residents, then went outside into the bitter winter winds of Winnipeg to hail a taxi to his parent’s residence.
The next day they dropped us off at the hospital and the five-week battle for his life began. Long story short, it had a happy ending, although it turned out to be only the beginning because he’s still in the process. What matters is that he got through that difficult time stronger and more resilient than ever. The adversity we endured together strengthened our faith and took our relationship to an even higher, deeper level than before.
The third and final sandpaper story of transformation through adversity is the most recent health challenge that I shared with my friend on Wednesday. I was on pins and needles in anticipation of my consult at the breast health centre. The nurse, Joanna, shared the official report, but it was all mumbo-jumbo medical jargon for me. Then Dr. Inglis came in and explained the results.
I have invasive ductal carcinoma, the most common and treatable breast cancer. It’s early stages and a small tumour, the best news I could have hoped for, and gigantic leaps from all the horrific possibilities I’d prepared myself for. You may be shaking your head, wondering how I could describe my diagnosis as “best news,” but I feel joy because of how at peace I am with it all. Through the sandpaper of adversity, my trust in the process of life has been transformed.
I’m praying that Mister and I will be through our health challenges soon. After all, we have a grandson on the way, due at the end of June, and we’re brimming over with excitement to travel to Brazil to meet him. We hope to attend our nephew’s wedding this August. I want to maintain my priorities of strengthening family relationships, making connections in the writing community, finding a publisher, and finishing the historical fiction manuscript I’m working on.
Until then, I’m holding the dreams in my heart close and believing they will come to pass. I’m keeping my thoughts positive, and full of optimism for the future. I have faith in my resilience and ability to overcome adversity. I trust in the process, that my health challenges will smooth out more rough edges, to reveal the masterpiece God created me to become.
Until next week, dear reader, I wish you strength on your journey.
COMING UP…
Books & Projects:
· All four of my books are available online at Amazon, Chapters-Indigo, and Barnes & Noble. You can also find them at select Chapters-Indigo and El Hombre de la Mancha bookstores.
· I am pursuing representation from a traditional publisher for my fifth literary fiction, a psychological drama that explores the complexities of mental illness and trauma. Stay in touch by signing up for my blog or following me on social media to find out when it will be published.
Reviews & Interviews:
· You can read, listen, or watch a large selection of reviews and interviews on my website.
Events:
· There are no events currently scheduled in my calendar.
YouTube Channel:
· Watch The Rogue Scorpion trailer.
· Watch The Holding trailer.
· Watch The Healing trailer.