Reunions and Reconciliations

Photo Credit: Thomas William

“In the end, reconciliation is a spiritual process which requires more than just a legal framework. It has to happen in the hearts and minds of people. ~ Nelson Mandela

Earlier this year, I received an invitation to a wedding that at first I thought must have been sent in error. It was from a family member I hadn’t been in communication with for many years. A trauma fault line had created a crater of pain, blame, and shame between us that I’d thought was too far and deep and wide for us to cross. But I was wrong.

I was terrified to reach out to confirm whether the invitation was indeed accidental, a technology glitch like a pocket dial or something, in case it was true. A voice deep inside me whispered to take the risk, to access my courage, and so I did. In my reply, I expressed how much joy it would bring me to attend, but that I didn’t want my presence to cause drama or discomfort. I said my greatest wish was to find a way to heal the pain of the past. I ended with, “I love you.”

The response I received surpassed any scenario I had dared to imagine. I was assured the invitation was not an accident but a deliberate attempt at reconciliation through compassion and accountability. I was overwhelmed with emotion, and even as I write this, months later, tears of gratitude glisten in the corners of my eyes.

On the day of the wedding, my heart was doing summersaults inside my ribcage, and my mind was like a mouse in a maze, thoughts racing in every direction from worst to best-case scenarios. On the drive to the venue, I had to summon all of my mindfulness training to calm the heart palpitations that were hammering away inside. I spotted a few family members standing outside and reached out to take Mister’s hand in mine, hoping his strength might flow through our connection.

Inside the foyer, a table was set with a photo album of the bride and groom. The images touched my soul and anchored me to what mattered— that I was there to celebrate and support them. My breathing returned to normal, and a smile lit up my face. I engaged in conversation with my family as though a riff had never existed, focused on the possibility of a miracle that could undo the past in the present and thus release the future.

When the music began and the wedding party made its debut, my skin prickled with anticipation. When the bride appeared, it was as though a bridge lowered. Her beauty and joy overcame me and all I could feel was the love, hope, and promise of new beginnings.

It was a day filled with a myriad of complex emotions: nostalgia for what was past, gratitude for the present, and peace for the lost years. I reconnected with people I hadn’t spoken to in far, far too long. I marveled at how it seemed time had stood still, despite all the changes that had occurred in everyone’s life circumstances. They were still them, and I, too, was still me.

Some of us had transformed more than others. All of us were older and wiser. The truth, that we never really know someone else’s full story, filled me with compassion. I was able to forgive and receive forgiveness, and to accept myself and them in all our human imperfection.

And so, dear reader, take heart. If you are suffering from the fallout of past trauma, I urge you to find hope in my story. If your heart is aching, don’t give up on the possibility that healing may be in your future too. There can be miracles when you believe.

COMING UP…

Books & Projects:

·      All four of my books are available online at Amazon, Chapters-Indigo and Barnes & Noble. You can also find them at select Chapters-Indigo and El Hombre de la Mancha bookstores.

·      I finished writing my fifth literary fiction, a psychological drama that explores the complexities of mental illness and trauma. Stay in touch by signing up for my blog or following me on social media to find out when it will be published.

Reviews & Interviews:

·      You can read, listen, or watch a large selection of reviews and interviews on my website.

Events:

·      There are no events currently scheduled in my calendar.

YouTube Channel:

·      Watch The Rogue Scorpion trailer.

·      Watch The Holding trailer.

·      Watch The Healing trailer.