Choose Your Moods

Photo credit: Harley Marten

“The most important decision you make is to be in a good mood.” ~ Voltaire

Many of us share a narrative that our emotions are out of our control. We believe they’re something that happens to us. Moodiness is accepted in our culture as just how some people are wired. In today’s musings, I’m challenging that notion as a misperception and untruth that keeps us from being our best.

I’ve come to learn that human beings can manage their emotions through mindfulness training. It takes awareness and effort. Instead of accepting whatever mood we’re feeling moment-to-moment, we can learn to go deeper. With reflection, we can uncover the source or root of our unhappiness. With practice and a growth mindset, we strive towards consistency.

It is selfish and immature to make excuses for bad behaviour. It’s disrespectful to our families and friends when we act out, yell, or lose control. Often, these are learned behaviours. We have the choice to be disciplined. It starts with our willingness to learn new ways of controlling our moods. We don’t have to be a tumbleweed, blowing in whatever direction our moods take us.

One of my first introductions to learning how to control my emotions was through a book my therapist recommended. Taming the Tiger Within: Meditations on Transforming Difficult Emotions by Thich Nhat Hanh, was an excellent resource. I found the reflections and pragmatic techniques to dismantle anger with compassion very effective in guiding and supporting my emotional healing journey.

How Emotions are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain by Lisa Feldman Barrett, scored 4.1 on over 11,000 ratings on Goodreads. The author claims the theory has the possibility to revolutionize psychology, health care, and even law enforcement. Her research overturns previous assumptions that emotions are hardwired into our brains and can’t be changed.

One simple technique to decompress when you feel your emotions beginning to escalate is to just take a moment to breathe deeply for a minute or two. I find it even more effective when I repeat a calming affirmation silently in my head. Phrases like, “I am calm and at peace,” or “I am safe and protected,” are examples of mantras I’ve used.

Learning how to “bring it down,” is an excellent tool in the moment, but there are also ways to fill your emotional fuel tank when you’re in a positive space so that when stressors come along you don’t slip as easily into below empty. Working with a skilled therapist to process trapped emotional baggage from the past that had me vulnerable to triggers in the present, was another significant part of my journey into expanding my emotional intelligence.

In today’s busy world, it can be easy to get caught up in doing. When we don’t set aside time every day for calm stillness, whether through meditation, walks in nature, or prayer, we lose our sense of being grounded. If you’re struggling with your ability to regulate your emotions, I encourage you to consider developing strategies that will empower you to choose your moods.

Be patient with yourself in the process. It takes time to build new habits. But the peacefulness you’ll experience when you take control will be well worth it. Your family and friends will notice and appreciate the shift too. Until next week, dear reader, be well.

COMING UP…

Books & Projects:

·      All four of my books are available online at Amazon, Chapters-Indigo, and Barnes & Noble. You can also find them at select Chapters-Indigo and El Hombre de la Mancha bookstores.

·      I am pursuing representation from a traditional publisher for my fifth literary fiction, a psychological drama that explores the complexities of mental illness and trauma. Stay in touch by signing up for my blog or following me on social media to find out when it will be published.

Reviews & Interviews:

·      You can read, listen, or watch a large selection of reviews and interviews on my website.

Events:

·      There are no events currently scheduled in my calendar.

YouTube Channel:

·      Watch The Rogue Scorpion trailer.

·      Watch The Holding trailer.

·      Watch The Healing trailer.